~Ines' writing class~

Monday, October 23, 2006

Description-Draft 1

Ryan is my roommate and classmate this semester. She is from Nantou and she has been five years in Ling Tung University of Tecnology to study informatics. There are 3 people in her family. Now she lives here in the dormitory.
Ryan likes to do excices, for instance: basketball, jug and badmiton. Sometimes after dinner, she goes to jug with the other classmate. We also like to play badmiton after class and we really have fun. She is really interested in the program in computer , in that way, she plans to become a programmer in computer.
Ryan is very funny and talktive and always make me laught. On the contrast, she is also a person who is easy to feel shy and nervous. When she feels shy or nervous , her face will become red quickly. She is also a sweet person, for instance, when I feel tired she would help me to carry my bag and reminds me what I should do now. Her appearance let me though that she is an adult but when she plays with the other people, she is very crazy and just likes a child. I can tell that Ryan concens about me because she always tell me what I should do or what I should not do. She is really a special person.
I am very gald to know Ryan when I study here and become her roommate and classmate. I can immage that I have such a good friend, my school life will not be boring.

5 Comments:

Blogger Emilylin said...

"she has been five years in Ling Tung University of Tecnology to study informatics."可改成"she had studied informatics for five years in Ling Tung University of Technology."^__^

11:21 AM  
Blogger eunice said...

1.The whole essey is quite fluent.
2.You spelled a wrong word in the third paragraph.

7:17 PM  
Blogger Wendy said...

The whole paragraph is good
, but you have some wrong spellings,like "badminton", "laugh",and "concern".
In the second paragraph, "Her appearance let me though that...", I think you mean "thought", right@@? If it is "thought", the verb after "let" should be "think".

9:42 PM  
Blogger Ryan said...

"慢跑" is jogging, not jug.
Thank you for your praise.

9:47 PM  
Blogger nin said...

In paragraph 2, "Sometimes after dinner, she goes to jug with the other classmate.", I think it would be better if you revise it to "Sometimes after dinner, she goes to jogging with other classmates.".

11:39 PM  

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